shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
