Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
pray to the hookup gods
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
