dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
