yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
