sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
