Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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