so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
