Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
