doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
