i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
wat bout pragnant strippers??
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
