My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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