so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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