its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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