dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
