i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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