i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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