I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we're making bets on your personal life
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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