Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
