I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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