his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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