your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
