I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
