Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
