i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
