oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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