There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
