She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
