remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
so let's talk penis.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
