Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
