whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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