If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
