...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
