Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
