Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
