I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
