operation have a gay friend backfired
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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