Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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