It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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