I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Hippo gnu deer
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
