I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
