I want to have your abortion
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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