so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
