she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
