We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You pole danced in your parka.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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