oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
