Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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