No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
