Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
