so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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