He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
we should paint friendship bongs
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
