the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
either way he was missing a nipple.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
