Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
